Thursday, October 15, 2009

10.15 daily totals.

Had a rough night last night. I have been taking Ambien for sleep the past week or so (LOVE it, by the way - right before you fall asleep you get high out of your mind and drift off into dreamland), but decided to try sleeping without it last night. When 5am rolled around and I still hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, I figured I should stop trying to fight the impending all-nighter and just realize that I was not going to get any sleep before my 9am class. I got up, cleaned my room, and of course, since I was still awake, my tummy wanted some attention. But I am pleased because I very much kept it under control. I listened to my body and gave it what it needed, nothing more. I had 5 slices of dried mango, which only came to 110 calories, and a rice cake at 70 calories. I am really thrilled I was able to be conscious while I was eating and pay attention to every bite (and enjoy it too!). After a small amount of solid calories the day before, and needing some sustenance at 5am, I think I did pretty well at 180 calories. The tossing and turning probably burned it all off anyway :).

As the sun rose and kissed the sky with an electric pink light, I drifted off to sleep. I figured this would be like a "nap" before my two-hour 9am class, and then my 11am class following right after. But by the time the alarm went off... I think you know where this story is going.

So I skipped the two morning classes, and woke up just in time to realize that I couldn't even make it to my third class of the day because of an intense migraine (thanks Aunt Flow!). So fuck. I missed all of my classes today. Is it bad that I don't really care?

Calories today have continued to be good. I keep thinking I should go eat something, but I am not hungry, so I am staying awayyyy from the kitchen. Here's what I've had so far (post my 5am snack-time):

6 almonds : 42 calories
brown rice cake : 70 calories
1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter : 100 calories
1/2 tablespoon of jam : ? I'm too lazy to figure it out

So in total today including the early morning chomping:

5 slices of dried mango : 110 calories
brown rice cake : 70 calories
6 almonds : 42 calories
brown rice cake : 70 calories
1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter : 50 calories
1/2 tablespoon of jam : (I'll figure it out and fill it in later)
total : 342 calories

Might have an apple a little later, we'll see. Hope you all had successful days today.

Thin thoughts,

P.S. Some of you have mentioned the show Supersize vs. Super Skinny, and I checked some clips out on YouTube. So good! Gross, but so good. Any of you know where I can watch full episodes online?

self discipline.

I thought you all might be interested in this.

A few months ago, I stumbled across Los Angeles trainers Gunnar Peterson and Gregg Miele's self discipline website. The concept is great, especially for us: wear the bracelet to help control yourself, whether in regards to food, exercise, thinking, whatever you want to do. Just wearing it is a reminder of the greatest power of your self, and you can snap it if you feel yourself slipping away from your control. Celebrities such as Kim Kardashian support the self discipline bracelet, and I bought two of them this summer. They come in little black packages sealed with an inspirational quote about self control. They are $3.00 each, and you can order them online. The site also has other products with the self discipline design in addition to the black bracelets. Ever since I refueled my desire for thin, I have been wearing my self discipline band to remind myself that I am in control. It is my own personal message to myself, and ladies, so far so good!

Let me know if you end up getting one. I wish you all increased strength and unwavering self discipline - every one of you has more power than you know. Get inspired, get positive, and have faith in yourself. You can do this. So many of us have already found success in our restricting, and you are no different. When you make the decision to succeed, you will succeed.

Love, kk