Tuesday, October 13, 2009

nervous.

I am really enjoying discovering like-minded blogs and reading all about your lives. It really does help knowing we are not alone dealing with this obsession. The thing is, I'm noticing everyone's highest weights, and their current weights, and I'm nervous! Nervous because it makes me think that mostly everyone else is already thin, and is documenting their journey to ultra-thin. I am not thin. I will be thin, but I am not currently thin. I am by no means a whale (although sometimes being tall translates into being big), but I do have a ways to go. My numbers are shocking to some people. My current weight may seem like an enormous number, but on my 5'11" frame, it seems to even out. I don't know. I guess I'm just wishing I were already thinner, as it seems the rest of you are, but I suppose I shouldn't freak the geek out. I have to remember that I am new to this whole blogging thing (this is literally my SECOND day). I have been at lower weights before and struggled with this for a long time, but this is the first time I am reaching out, exposing myself, and connecting with a community of girls with similar stories. I have restricted, obsessed, counted, and controlled in the past, but my current weight has resulted in a self-hatred far too overwhelming. This blog marks my decision to get thin once and for all. I just cannot keep being fat. It restricts my entire life. This time, I will win. This time, I will be thin.

Please help me stay strong, pretties.
xoxoxoxox kk

4 comments:

  1. : ) thanks for following, I can use all the support I can possibly get, as I am sure you can too. The more people I have reading me, the more accountable I feel, and the more weight I loose. Blogger is still pretty new to me also, like it doesn’t notify me when I have new comments, so I just have to kinda go search thru my old posts to see if anyone commented on them, Do u know how to make it notify u have comments? I have yet to figure that one out yet, lol. Also I don’t know if I should respond to comments in the same post or a persons own blog, technology is my enemy sometimes.

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  2. It's okay, I'm short and I still feel like my 139 pounds are HUGE compared to where a lot of other ladies are at. Don't worry, we all have to start somewhere :)
    And I'm jealous that you're so tall. I wish I wasn't so short, because I just look dumpy. Gaaaah!

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  3. I'm only 5'3" and have weighed more then you do! Girl, you are off to a great start and we'll be here to support you all along the way. I have a long way to go too. We can do it. :) Be strong.

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  4. Thanks for the info on the comment settings and whatnot….I will attempt to figure it out. Yes, my best ev is amazing, I swear me and her have the same brain, lol. I don’t have a “goal weigh” per say, I just want to like the way I look. I weighed 103 at my lowest, so I definitely want to be there again! But like right now I weigh 110, but I feel like I look 115, lol if that makes any sense at all. Sooo when I weighed 103 I thought I was about 10 lbs too fat, so maybe 93 is where I will stop…who knows

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